Slurred Speech

You may not be aware of it but these illegal immigration marches into the many demonstrations with millions of people around the country are part of the bigger conspiracy. That’s right, there is a conspiracy afoot. You see, many other Hispanic workforces come to United States of America has picked up bad work ethic habits of many Americans. Many have come here to build a better life and so they have.

But did you know that many of these illegal aliens are now becoming too fat to work. That’s true, many are becoming overweight, eating too much and not working hard enough to burn off fat. It looks as if all the fat, dumb and happy Americans have been teaching all the illegal aliens some very bad habits. And we cannot have any of that.

So many people look around the country have organized marches to help the illegal aliens burn off the fat. If given them big flags, some American and some Mexican to waver around frantically to give their upper body a good complete work out. This indeed will help burn off calories and help thin up our workforce. Many of the wealthy liberals organizing these marches have gardeners, live-in maids and even hire some of these illegal aliens in their businesses.

So you see, do not be alarmed with the millions of protesters yelling obscenities in Spanish at all the Americans, because the jokes on them. We’re just trying to get some of that frustration out of them, make them too tired to fight eviction from our country in and to get them to lose a few more pounds while we work their asses off before we throw them out. I heard this from a reliable source, a conspiracy theorist and homeless person in downtown Santa Monica near the pier. Consider the 2006.

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I decided that Jay Leno needs all the help he can get so I wrote up a few jokes from the news. The first jokes in this Joke for Jay Leno Series are Police Jokes.

TASER Joke

TASER®, the stun gun people, sponsored research at the Cleveland Clinic. Pigs were better able to resist a stun gun attack if they were first injected with COCAINE.

Here’s a warning to crooks: In case the police subdue you with a stun gun, shoot up before you go to work!

END

Capital Police Joke

Police cordoned off the Rayburn Office Building when someone confused the sounds of a worker pounding on an elevator with GUNSHOTS.

After checking the location of Dick Cheney, the Capital Police reopened the office building.

END

Holiday Inn Joke

Two men robbed a Pennsylvania Holiday Inn. One held the gun and the other left his checkbook behind on the hotel’s reception desk, his name and address on each CHECK!

END

Orlando Police Captain

A former Orlando police captain is held captive in the Democratic Republic of Congo. He is accused of planning a coup.

The former captain said he was not planning a coup but was scouting for interesting people to possibly become Disney World® TOUR GUIDES.

END

Judge Says Child Sex Offender too Short to Put in Jail

A Nebraska Judge let a convicted sex offender off the hook because he is only 5-ft 1-inch tall and, according to the judge, too short to serve time in jail.

He wasn’t “TOO SHORT” to molest a 13-year-old girl!

A message to you short sex offenders: MOVE to Nebraska.

END

Cocoa Florida Police Arrest 10-year-old Boy

In Cocoa, Florida, a 10-year-old boy rammed a police cruiser after driving a Ram truck on a dare.

The police gave him a ticket for driving without the CUB SCOUT “DRIVING AWARD.”

END

copyright©2006 John T. Jones, Ph.D.

John T. Jones, Ph.D. (tjbooks@hotmail.com, a retired VP of R&D for Lenox China, is author of detective & western novels, nonfiction (business, scientific, engineering, humor), poetry, etc. Former editor of Ceramic Industry Magazine. He is Executive Representative of IWS sellers of Tyler Hicks wealth-success books and kits. He also sells TopFlight flagpoles. He calls himself “Taylor Jones, the hack writer.”

More info: http://www.tjbooks.com

Business web site: http://www.aaaflagpoles.com